i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
