I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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