if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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