we have officially lost it.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
