So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
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Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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