I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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