i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
