A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize