Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
