Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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