then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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