K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
