so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
