This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
