ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize