ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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