why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
