He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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