help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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