Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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