I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
