Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
