Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
