i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
