it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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