I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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