The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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