so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So vagazzling was a success
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize