Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
