So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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