She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I need moral support for this bender
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!