Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize