everyone is single if you try hard enough
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize