its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
