I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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