Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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