I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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