i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
