Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
