Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize