taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Bring me that man meat
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
