kristin has been a bad kristin
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
