halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
