after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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