my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
