i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
NoShamevember. You game?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
