i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Enjoy the penises
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
