yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
