He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
