im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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