I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
