If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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