I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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