Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i believe in u and ur pee
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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