how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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