Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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