I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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