i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
