I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
