One girl and one boy is just not enough.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
