even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
